it’s been almost two years since my sisters and I left our last church. One would think I would’ve gotten over it by now. Essentially, maybe I have. There was a lot of baggage that was carried out when we left. And I had been there for 8 years, so it would be 8 years worth of stuff. I started this blog as a way to get those feelings out. As a way to document myself, I guess. To be my own, proof that i’m alive, if you will. Also to write, because I need to stay in practice.
I was speaking to someone, about leaving, and the hurt it caused, and he said “well, no church is perfect.”
I think that’s a go-to answer for a lot of people who have never experienced spiritual abuse/hurt/disappointment at the hands of people they thought they were doing life with. It must be nice.
It’s very easy to say, “no church is perfect” and that be a panacea. Is it meant to fix things? Is it meant to be a bandaid? a painkiller? I understand that people who say such things mean well, but, please don’t. It’s so condescending. I was raised in the church, I have seen and heard a loooot of things. For someone to say something like “no church is perfect” is like, what do you take me for? do i look like a child? are you trying to teach me something? you honestly think i don’t know that?
(Most) People who leave the institutional church aren’t looking for perfection. Heck, I know I wasn’t. When I joined this church I was looking for home, I was looking for more. More than the previous fellowship I had been attending. More Jesus, more Holy Spirit, more God, and I wasn’t getting that before.
This church was home for a long time, through the transition of my teenage years to adulthood, and then suddenly, it no longer was home. There had been many days when I felt like I really could live in ‘God’s house.’ I loved being there, with my friends, the fellowship, this was the perfect church for me.
Until it wasn’t.
Yes, I know, no church is perfect. People make up the church, so I don’t understand why one would make such a statement. It’s not helpful. When people are leaving their church, when they are telling you that they’ve been hurt, the correct answer isn’t, “well you’re not going to find a perfect church.”
You certainly don’t have to tell me twice.
Grace and Peace.