It’s my birthday today. The second birthday I’ve spent away from my family, my second in Korea. I am pensive. Thinking too much, as usual.
The other day someone in my class said to me, “don’t apologise for who you are.” And i took it to heart. I tend to apologise for being me. I don’t know why, but i feel a sense of guilt. I feel guilty for putting people out. I feel bad for making people uncomfortable. I feel bad for things i don’t need to feel bad for. On the other hand, i don’t think people feel the same way about putting me out. I don’t think they care the same way and that’s mostly because I don’t say anything. I don’t like conflict although i can deal with it. This leads to me enduring uncomfortable situations that I vowed never to put myself into. I have to find a way to remedy that.
I have to choose me.
These are my birthday reflections.
Grace and peace.